We’ve all been there: standing at the crossroads of a big decision, second-guessing ourselves into exhaustion. Should I stay or go? Say yes or no? Take the risk or play it safe?
But why does making decisions, something we do countless times a day, feel so hard sometimes? Here’s the truth: indecision often isn’t about the decision itself. It’s about the stories, emotions, and fears swirling around inside us. The real question is, “Who am I listening to when I decide? ”Let me tell you a story.
Years ago, I lived my life based on what I thought I should do. I should keep saying yes to everyone who needs me. I should prioritize others over myself. I should follow the path laid out for me, even when it didn’t feel right. At the time, I didn’t realize how much of my identity was shaped by expectations -society’s, my family’s, even my own outdated beliefs.
I thought I was being responsible, but really, I was just lost. And when it came to making decisions, I was stuck in the loop of “What if I get it wrong?” or “What will people think? ”It wasn’t until I started doing the deeper work- emotional mastery, self-awareness, and understanding my feminine archetype -that I finally began making decisions from a place of clarity and confidence.
Shadow work (exploring the hidden, rejected parts of ourselves) plays a huge role in this process. Often, the voice that’s making decisions for us isn’t our higher self at all. It’s the scared part of us that wants to avoid rejection or keep things safe and familiar. Maybe it’s the part of you that learned as a child that you had to be perfect to be loved.
Or the part of you that fears being judged for standing out.
Or the part of you that’s tired of carrying everyone else’s load but doesn’t know how to say no. These parts aren’t the enemy, they’re just scared. By bringing compassion and awareness to them, we can stop letting them take the driver’s seat.
At its core, this journey is about remembering.
When you connect to your feminine archetype, embrace your shadows, and listen to your higher self, decision-making becomes less about getting it “right” and more about staying true to you.
So, how can you start making decisions with more clarity and confidence? Here are a few steps:
Here’s something that changed everything for me: the realization that we all have a primary feminine archetype, a guiding energy that reflects our deepest truths. When we understand and embody our archetype, it becomes a powerful tool for self-awareness and growth, especially when it comes to decision-making.
For example:
The Mother is nurturing and compassionate, creating a sense of safety and belonging for those around her. Yet, she can become overly self-sacrificing, making decisions from guilt or obligation.
Aligned, she prioritizes her needs too, choosing from a place of love for herself and others.
The Maiden thrives on curiosity and adventure, approaching life with a sense of wonder and openness. However, she may struggle with fear of failure or uncertainty, making it hard to take bold steps.
Balanced, she makes decisions with a fearless spirit and trusts herself in the journey ahead.
The Queen embodies confidence, leadership, and a sense of authority. But she may feel overwhelmed by the weight of responsibility, leading to indecision or over-control.
When balanced, she rules her life with grace, making choices that honor her sovereignty and vision.
The Lover craves connection, beauty, and intimacy, guided by her deep emotional and sensual wisdom. In shadow, she may lose herself in pleasing people, fearing rejection.
Aligned, she makes decisions that honor her desires while maintaining healthy boundaries.
The Wild Woman is fiercely independent and free-spirited, driven by her connection to instinct and authenticity. However, she can become rebellious or avoidant, resisting structure and commitment.
When balanced, she embraces her untamed nature with intention, making bold choices that honor her freedom and her accountability.
The Sage values wisdom, knowledge, and introspection, seeking meaning and clarity in all areas of life. In her shadow, she may become overly analytical or detached, overthinking decisions until she's stuck.
Aligned, she integrates intuition with intellect, making decisions rooted in clarity and insight.
The Mystic is deeply intuitive and spiritually connected, guided by her inner knowing and higher purpose. Yet, in shadow, she can become isolated, disconnected from the practical world.
When balanced, she blends her spiritual vision with grounded action, making decisions that feel divinely guided.
When we’re out of balance or stuck in the shadow of our archetype, we make decisions from a place of fear, doubt, or external validation. But when we step into the light of our archetype, decisions become a natural expression of our true selves, anchored in trust, love, and inner alignment.
When you align with your feminine archetype and embrace the wisdom of your true self, decision-making stops being a source of stress and starts feeling like an act of empowerment. You no longer feel the need to overthink or second-guess. You’re not making choices to please others or avoid discomfort. Instead, you’re choosing what’s meant for you, guided by the deep knowing that you are enough, just as you are.
So tell me: What’s one decision you’ve been holding off on? What would change if you trusted yourself completely?
Take my 'Discover Your Feminine Archetype Quiz' - where I help you discover your Primary Archetype for Emotional Mastery!
Ready to Discover Your Path to Emotional Freedom?
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